An ugly duckling

She is not pretty to look at
She doesn't have a perfect figure
Stretch marks and cellulite,
she is curved and curved.
She struggles to look at herself,
the reflection is hard to accept
It takes a bigger heart to see the person inside.
She feels ugly, ignored, avoided.
Why, you ask?
You named her ugly duckling,
you called her names,
you told her to cover up and not to show skin
You told her she looks horrible
and the people will be scared to see her.
You told her that your words don't matter but
they do.
They matter.
They stab her heart
While she struggles more to even look at herself.
Her beautiful heart aches
when her appearance stands in the way.
And all you can do is call her an
ugly duckling.

Unsaid words

Those words going around my heart
thrusting upon its walls
longing to come out.
It aches, it's unfair
when they can't come out.
I try, I really do,
but they are stuck,
aching, inside.
I know they never will come out.
The entire universe resonates with you,
sharing your pain,
the pain which makes you
wanna dance in the rain,
wet and sobby.
The sky is trapped inside you.
It's heavy and wanna rain
but it can't, it won't, it never will.
That bird sings about agony,
The green of the grass reflects you,
The ground is all wet and muddy below you,
The ant is on your shoulder to
console you.
You have never felt more closer to nature,
unsaid words within you,
alive you will feel,
as they die inside
and you will live on.

Keep the light going

She is sitting there,
Near a flickering light.
I am trying to get her out,
to get the immense happiness out.
I want to feel it,
the way it feels when I talk to my imaginary friend
or when a dog wags at me
or when i make my parent smile
or when i fall in love with a character in a book and re-read it
But I can't think straight,
she is trapped, the innocent soul
I talk to people,
Ask for help,
My people try but it's hard to understand.
It's hard to find what's missing.
I get exhausted and hopeless.
I feel I betrayed her, I couldn't help her, the guilt.
All I can do for now
is to keep the light going.

Awed.

I lie on my bed, thinking about you.
My heart so still and fulfilled.
Awed at the joy of your presence.
I don't want to be yours.
I don't want you to be mine.
I don't mind if you are not kind.
When my heart is full, I become so blind.
I love those moments when I melt
and dissolve in your smile,
unable to spit a single word,
all I could do is sit and
stupidly smile.
You make me feel all this
long after you are gone,
when I realised its all magic.
I will not ask more of you,
says my overwhelmed heart,
which is so grateful
to have just met you in this life.

Waiting...

It's hustling,
the world, so pretentious!
Oh, I am busy, it boasts.
Even the time doesn't have
a second to breathe,
her every moment is quick like a bee!
Not one composed soul
to listen to the whisperings and
whimperings of the world,
to fall in love with
the absolute beauty of life.
When the pace is so fast
that life feels worthless,
a feeble heart, still
struggles to last.
When the lights go off,
eyes in the dark,
When the bustling stops,
mind jumps into a
meaningless silence.
There she is,
in a corner,
unwanted and rejected,
still with a light.
There she is, the child in us,
waiting to be found.

Window

Staring at the blank page,
Not a word of my own in my mind,
Every story of the world passing
through a digital window,
but still I have nothing to say.
World grows, great things are done,
amazing people are found,
And these facts make money
when I sit and loathe myself in a corner.
The only place I can see myself
is in that corner,
the right angles that support me.
I try hard,
To just look at myself,
Just me, but it's clouded,
she is not there,
she is ashamed,
she can't accept herself.
And her outlet are these words,
Which provides her the window,
to escape,
atleast for a minute.

Bricked

Few stripes of coloured hair,
self judgemental mirror,
A loathed fat tummy
And everything,
bricked mind which has
failed to perfect the shell,
too dormant to notice
the inner soul,
that everyone misses out
while looking for the soothing pink!
The paper and ink
opened the shell
to discover new,
better questions!
A new soul for the mind
to accept and adore!

A drizzle...

The droplets drizzling inside my room,
I feel them on my arms,
The memories flashing inside my
Head in sequence and
Me, unable to stop it..
It's drizzling and I feel cold,
But I can't move myself to close
the window!
The guilt and regret,
making me hate myself more,
The silent suffering,
the unspeakable language,
the girl dying inside!

Hopeless heart...

It gets stirred in a flash,
gets attached to thorns
and embraces the pain,
the scar upon.
As much as it loves
the concept of love,
it's most hated thing
is itself!
the newborn, the kid,
the teen and the granny,
all in one, taking turns,
it being in a constant dizz...
the delightful food,
the soothing music,
the soulful nature,
But it nurtures on
the crazy love...

You never had..

a balloon up in the air,
flying away..
that beautiful Daisy
you didn't wanna pluck..
that amazing piece of art
which was not for sale..
that alluring aroma
you never sensed again..
that ripe yellow fruit,
at the top of a tree..
that perfect cup of coffee,
you never made again..
those mesmerizing pair of eyes,
you never saw again..
that magical word
you never heard again..
that piece of music
you hear only in your heart..
that addictive pain of losing
something,
you never had...

The bus..

The lines are running backwards,
the green grass wave, greeting us,
Wind playing with my hair,
The sleepy guy, loud guy
the crying baby,
And the staring granny,
The cattle, waking up the driver,
the curves of the road
Rocking us on board,
We keep moving forward,
With the sun,
With the moon.

The bitch

She was there stumbling over stones,
on the road.
Shivering in cold,
Feeling my hold,
lids half closed,
so frail and tiny.
She dined milk,
a longing lick
for the boned and bogged
tum of hers.
She was blind,
I didn't know.
Her stumbling legs
pawing in air,
Tiny thin tail
Swirling around
to play.
The next morning
All I heard was her scream
somewhere.
She was there,
her lightless eyes
reflecting them,
She was there,
No blood,
No wounds,
No scars,
And no breath.

Grey heart

It was cloudy.
Dawn and dusk looked the same.
Sun rays in vanity,
Everything looked grey.
What's beyond can't be seen.
The dim silence silencing my heart,
the matching rhythm,
the grey rhythm.
A  call for clarity,
but just a cold wind.
A call for light,
just a lamp post.
Fed up with whines,
the heart which is numb,
takes all the pain,
sees all the light,
felt all the vain,
yet loves the grey day,
the most.
It doesn't give clarity,
but gives the hope for a change.
It shows suffocation,
but also shows survival.
It plays the faint song
a grey heart sings...

Hers...

Not for you, not for me
And not for bucks.
She does it for herself,
to get herself out
Into the world.
Something drives her
into this expression.
And nothing seems to
stop her from doing it
because then she ceases
to exist.
Until she is alive,
The art lives
in her,
through her and
lets her live.

Can I be the one all the time?
Can I love the same person all the time?
Must I be happy all the time?
Are tears always bad?
Does darkness always mean cold?
Is the truth always hard?
No.
Nothing matters at the end of the day.

Spot light...

The moon is shining
I feel like am on a spot light
with no human to judge me..
All my thoughts are finally
reaching the infinity and beyond..
I am stinking of sweat and
dirt, the ones I enjoy the most,
the ones I am made of...
The wind adds to it a
touch of everything...
The light and dark,
tall and short, all looks the same...
The ground feels real,
grainy with impressions on the foot...
The lost sound reaching my ear...

Grey

It's so grey, Everything I see,
So lifeless.
It's like the entire world
is mute.
The same road everyday, eyes
running towards the next
second.
Maybe the only change it has seen
is this piece of writing.
The grey is deadly,
makes me feel empty
like a broken piggy bank.
It makes me search for
things that lie in my past,
people that I miss.
Above all, in grey,
I miss myself...

Reborn

It's so hollow,
what you see...
The walls even echo
to the sound of bee.
The flesh is red
but it's dark inside!
Thoughts bouncing around
like blind bats!
The sea is right beside my toe
And the sky at the back of my eye,
the embers of the day
emptying the soul...
Reborn today to
fly tomorrow...

Four sisters...

There were four sisters
all close and loving.
Each got families to
pamper, handcuffs pity them!
Grievous and joyous, the
holidays left, they met
And met again!
Some had gold, some
had rubies, some had
diamonds and it mattered!
The love is lost in
dirty fights and petty thoughts!
No one knew the end.
They don't talk, never met.
Victims were their children,
with empty hearts looking
out for others in vain...

Sleep...

The red and blue checks
on my ceiling with
numerous small pores
to see the faces
of reality fighting
for existence!
My lens loosened
for blurry vision,
zooming out
the lost ones!
The silent night
slowly creeping in,
the cold wind
hunting for souls
to reap...
A howl afar
craving for ears to fill...
The sleep invaded
my blurry eyes
As I fell into
Oblivion.